Albums are graded on a five-point scale of "Awful-Eh-Good-Great-Classic". I'm highly biased, so don't take it too seriously. Most of these come from my own collection, so the grades skew rather high. Your results may vary if you send me stuff to review.

Each album is given three Essential tracks, my personal favorites, regardless of how weird and inconsequential they are. The Quintessential pick is the one I think best represents the album as a whole, so you can try one song instead of a whole album of songs. Non-Essential picks range from merely disappointing to outright unlistenable.

This Not Beated

[#] Fuckers in Fucking Hole For Fuck (2008)

Horribly impolite.

Reviewed September 16, 2018

You might not be able to tell from the name, but This Not Beated's 2008 20kbps release Fuckers in Fucking Hole for Fuck is a bit of a challenging listen. I had to take notes while I sat enraptured through the very first track, "Fuck With Dead Shit of Little Dead Girl", for all the noises I heard piled throughout. It starts with the "Soulless 2" bassline, and then a guy going "lelelele" into a mic, a dentist vacuum, a bird chirping and then unchirping, and finally the plane from Top Gun for the NES get stacked on top of it. It's a fucking mess, but a really good fucking mess. I have reason to suspect that Russia is an alternate dimension of torrential misery, because the most savage low-bit shit always seems to come from there.

"Fuck With Zombies" takes a mounted machine gun approach to IDM, and "Fuck With Doggy Shit" is, as the title implies, absolutely fucking nasty sounding—gabber kicks and grinding guitars that ooze over a lukewarm, liquidy pit of doggy shit. In 20kbps, yes. It's unfortunate only these few tracks take this semi-structured approach though, because when the album drones, it loses me. "Fuck With Microwaves" and "Fuck With Plasma" are as throwaway as they come, unless seven minutes of a bubbly, boily death ray being blasted directly into your ears sounds like a good time, in which case, be my guest. It's not dinner music, but—you know, maybe it is dinner music, if you're a crazy motherfucker. Try it out.